Where's The Beef?

(Think Brady Bunch theme music as you read this)

Here's a story
of a naughty boy
who was really good at getting into trouble

He had done some crazy things
in the past
like pouring out the bubbles

Here's a story
of a hungry puppy
who was always on the look out for a treat
she would eat anything
to fill her tummy
especially if it was thrown at her feet

Well, one day when the boy saw the puppy
He had an awesome treat he knew she would adore
so he took that pound of ground beef
from the counter
and proceeded to throw it on the floor,
On the floor
On the floor
He proceeded to throw it on the floor.

Insert Picture or Naughty Boy and Puppy



Notice the shifty eyes- dead give-away for guilt!
BTW- marker on forehead was him pretending to be Harry Potter



Notice bloating around midsection

Here's how it went down:

I had taken (or at least thought I had taken) a pound of ground beef out of the freezer to thaw so I could use it for tacos. When it came time to make said tacos I couldn't locate my beef! Who loses meat? I dug through the trash can, drawers, pantry- everywhere I thought I could have possibly "stuck" it in the midst of my afternoon mayhem. NO MEAT!!! Than I began to wonder if I was losing it and hadn't really taken it out. By this time it was too late to thaw anything else before I had to feed the masses and get them back out the door for their evening activities. I just chalked it up to senility and moved on.

Fast forward- Next afternoon:

I go to feed the dogs. They are usually chomping at the bit to eat and standing by the door anxiously awaiting their chow. Parker eats as usual but Paisley doesn't touch her food. She is known to eat all kinds of nasty things so I just figure she ate another pacifier (she has eaten about 15 since Murphy was born) and will feel better and eat after she processes the latex.

Fast Forward- later in the afternoon:

Whit is misbehaving and runs to his favorite hiding spot- The Red Couch- to avoid a butt spanking. I go to retrieve him and in so doing notice some packaging sticking out from under the couch. It is the MEAT packaging- only there is no MEAT! It is spotless.

After an intense interrogation of our prime suspect (Whit) I come to find out the whole truth and nothing but the truth:

Whit says he took the MEAT because it looked yucky and he didn't want anyone to eat it and get sick. He said he stuck it under the couch so no one would find it but unfortunately Paisley was able to sniff it out and crawl under there and eat a POUND of raw ground beef- for goodness sake she only weighs 12 pounds to begin with! Mystery of the LOST MEAT and the un-hungry dog solved.

BTW-Paisley has been pretty lethargic the last day and a half as she processes all that MEAT but I think she is part goat because she hasn't gotten sick. She is definitely a Garbage Gut!